My Struggle and a Post Share: My Daughter's Beauty

I have been struggling for quite a while, probably since the moment that I found out I was having a girl, as to the fact that I am raising a daughter in 2012. During a time when clothing and morals seem optional. In a culture that seems to almost hate women. How will I remind her that God made her perfect and make her believe it? How will I remind her that she is always enough? How do I teach her that fleeting beauty is not most important? How will I talk her through 'the awkward years?' Of which mine were many... How will I deal with the fact that sometimes she won't put a lot of stock into what I believe to be true about her? How will I console her if a boy breaks her heart, and how will I stop Cliff from killing him? Over and over, the questions and fears, both rational and irrational, cascade through my mind. Luckily, a Facebook friend, with a daughter around the same age as Macy, posted this article today. It was written by a father about his daughter, and offers some insight on some of the issues I was writing about above. I find such solace in reading this and maybe you will too.

How do I raise my daughter to know the true definition of beauty in a culture such as ours? How do I cultivate an image in her that is rooted in the beauty of Jesus and not the allure of a distorted sexuality?

Here are three points that I have found helpful in my journey:

Our Culture’s Definition of Beauty

In most societies, feminine worth is determined by how you live up to the cultural definition of “real womanhood.” In Dallas real womanhood is largely defined by physical beauty, and beauty is determined by which men find you attractive, which means feminine worth is defined by the ability to attract men. This is a heartbreaking perversion of why God created two sexes that leaves insecurity and broken marriages in its wake.

The Biblical Foundation of Beauty

God is the definition of beauty because He is absolute holiness, which is why scriptures like 1 Samuel 16:7and Proverbs 31:30 define beauty internally and teach that God is after our hearts. Our definition of beauty should then begin with godly character flowing from the purity of heart.

We also know from Song of Solomon that God created men to find women attractive, serving as a physical representation of how the Church finds Christ desirable above all things. Thus, any exploitation of women’s bodies for the attraction or the lust of man is a distortion of God’s created intent and a product of the Fall.

Practical Steps for Shepherding

Abandoning our city to avoid the realities of a fallen world won’t reverse the effects of sin in our families. The only solution is the gospel of Jesus Christ.

But how do we pursue this? Here are a few practical ways:

• Teach your daughter early and often that God loves her. The Lord designed her exactly as He wanted her. Speak truth to her before she hears the lie.
• Affirm this truth. Tell your daughter she is beautiful and that you love being her father or mother. I cannot say this enough to my daughter, Eisley, and I’m determined by the grace of God to not have her grow up searching for the affirmation she was designed to get from her father.
• Teach her early that sexuality is designed by God and meant to flourish inside of marriage.
• Guard her environment. You cannot avoid all images, but don’t be foolish in what you let your daughter see.
• Take her on dates. Model the unconditional love of the Father through uninterrupted time with her father.
• Develop a family mantra about beauty: “Where does beauty come from? The heart. Why? Because God looks there.”
• Be aware of the schemes of Satan in your daughter’s life. Ex: The mall is not evil in and of itself, but there is a strong pull there to worldly passions. When we leave the mall, I want to tell Eisley repeatedly that I love her, she is beautiful, I love being her daddy and that Jesus loves her.
• Be aware of the schemes of Satan in your life. Satan hates your daughter and wants her worship and destruction. The best way to get to her is through her headship. For the sake of God’s glory in the joy of your children, pursue holiness.
• Pray, beg, plead. Our best laid plans are feeble compared to the craftiness of Satan, and we are desperately dependent on the Spirit to do what only the Spirit can do: open her eyes to Jesus.

As a father with many parenting mistakes in my future, I am still learning. And I know that, more than anything, I need the grace of God as I seek to raise up my daughter in the ways of the Lord.

It comes with such relief that other Christians struggle with this same battle. I have said it before and I will say it again, I think Satan's biggest victory is if he can make us truly believe that we are alone in our struggles. I know that Cliff will be an incredible father and we have already spent many hours in conversation and strategy planning on this subject alone. I think my biggest worry is me. This past year and a half, I have desperately been trying to work on me and trying to make myself un-believe the lie that I am not enough or unworthy of unconditional love. Because I have to believe it before I can make Macy believe it. This is one of the reasons, of which there are many, that I am so thankful to be rooted in faith in Christ and to believe that he has made and will continue to make everything perfect. His plans are masterful and he knows what he's doing.

Sorry for the heavy topics the past few days! In lighter news, the week is half over and Labor Day is next week! It still feels somewhat like summer to me since I didn't go back to school for the first time in twenty years, but I sure am enjoying all the family time I have been getting these past two weeks. Pure bliss! 

So much love to you and yours, and may you be encouraged today by the unending love of our Father in Heaven who cares for us in a way that we could never hope for or imagine.

Fun with an iPhone Camera

My daughter is 14 months old. My daughter is 14 months old. There is just no way that is possible. On one hand, it feels like we were bringing her home from the hospital just yesterday. Then on the other hand, it feels like she's always been with us, like I can't remember what life was like before her. She enriches my life every day. She has caused Cliff and I to become even closer. She keeps us laughing and guessing as to what she's doing and thinking. She is amazing. She is brilliant. She is funny. She is sweet. She is outgoing. She is busy and hardly sits still. She is headstrong. She is sassy. She is both mine and Cliff's mini-me. It is wonderful that a child can take all the very best from their parents. There are so many elements of her budding personality that are all from Cliff, so many that are all me, then, the most beautiful part, there are some that are just her. She is everything I could have ever hoped for in a daughter already, and I know there are still so many good times ahead. There are some times that she just looks me straight in the eyes and I know exactly what she is thinking. I love when I'm getting ready and all Macy wants to do is sit in my lap and play with my makeup brushes while she watches me finish putting on my makeup. This of course makes getting ready take about five times as long, but so much more enjoyable.   I love it when she lets me hold her, read her a book, and brush her hair. I love her. I love her more than I thought my heart could love anyone, and that's saying something because I feel like I have experienced overwhelming love for my wonderful husband. This overwhelming love that I have is crushing, but somehow in a good way. I am consumed by the joy and happiness that they each bring me. First with my husband, it was the impact of loving someone so much and living out that love in marriage. Then, with our daughter, not only am I so in love with her, but I fall deeper in love with my husband because she is both him and me, and because of the father he is to her and partner in parenting that he is to me. This life is bliss. 14 months of pure bliss, and I cannot wait to see what the future will bring.

You should know that as she turned, she stuck her finger like all the way up my nostril. 

So Macy, if you are reading this, please know that you are loved beyond measure. You are full of life, with all the potential there is in this world. You are growing up to be an extraordinary woman, and God forbid anyone tell you differently. There will be some days when you will allow people to get to you and tell you that you aren't good enough, but hear me tell you now that you are a life-changing, gorgeous, smart, witty and kind young woman, because those are the things that you are to me and you are still just a baby. How incredible you will be as you continue to grow... Mommy loves you, forever and always. 

BOWS!

So, I love bows on babies. Unfortunately, Macy likes to play with bows more than wear them on her head. I have found a solution for the time being- smaller bows. The smaller they are, the quicker she forgets about them. So my quest to find small bows led me of course to Pinterest where I was able to find a super cute goldfish bow, and was able to follow the tutorial here!

{via}

Here's how I did it. Start out with one long strip (tutorial above suggests 7", but that was way too long for what I wanted), and then you will need three 1" strips. Sorry for the poor iPhone photography!

Then you fold the ribbon in half length-wise, and then pull the top part off to the side.

You want this part to be a little puffy because you don't want your gold fish to have a flat head! So you just have to play with it until it looks good to you.

Then pinch at the spot that gives you enough fluff, I put a dot of hot glue on mine to make sure it held the way I wanted it. You can see when you compare the picture above and the picture below how much length I ended up taking off, it was unfortunate. 

Then you take one of the small strips and wrap the spot where you were pinching. I also took this opportunity to make sure the 'tails' were even. 

Next you want to make his arms. Take the other two smaller strips, put a dot of hot glue on one end, then fold over like below.

You are so close to the end! Next you will position the arms in the way that looks best to you. I chose to have them pointing down, like the little guy was swimming!

Lastly, you add an adhesive wiggly eye and the little guy comes to life! Again, the iPhone is not the best camera for these pictures. Sorry!

This was just one of the bows I was making for Macy this past Saturday. One item I would suggest is using something different than the 'snap' clips. I got them because they stay really well in Macy's hair, but I wasn't thinking of how I would attach the flat bows to a curved surface. I just had to add a bit more hot glue than I would've wanted to. But that's okay, we only need them for a little while long until Macy gets a little more hair. After I was done, I put them all in here hair. She didn't even try to pull them out, SUCCESS!

However, she was ready for me to stop taking pictures.

I got the cute ribbon from Pick Your Plum, which runs specials on different craft supplies every week day. When I got done with the bows, I went out to my mailbox to find that the super fun cupcake liners and paper straws had both come in! Woohoo!

In other news, this happened today. Macy was snacking on some puffs, then took the bottle off into the kitchen, dumped puffs on the floor, and continued eating them in between play breaks. Yeah, I let this happen...

Macy's Toys Gone Wild

As you know, my precious daughter just turned one. She had a fabulous party, and she got A LOT of toys. Well, this presented a bit of a problem. There were toys everywhere, and it was driving me crazy. 

I feel like I've said it over and over, but I am a self diagnosed, overly OCD personality, and simply cannot rest or relax when there is a mess. I do not like a mess, anywhere. So, in preparation for Macy's birthday, we did a good cleanse of all of Macy's toys and her room, but I still wasn't prepared for what would ensue. The picture above is a small glimpse into my problem. This is one corner of the mess, there was another in her closet, another in the living room, and two more piles in MY room. I feel like you know it's bad when you are storing toys in packing boxes... As you can see, this was a big problem for me. My solution = Target, always.  

I was VERY happy with the results!

Just a side note: If you have a sweet baby girl- write this down - this is the Fisher Price Little People Disney Princess Song Castle. I know, it 's a mouthful, but it the best toy EVER! They come with cute little princesses, and then you put them on the dance floor and they say their names and sing a song from their movie. I love it, but the main thing is that Macy adores it and it's the first thing she goes to, every time. 

So... Macy's room doesn't always look as pretty as it does in these pictures, but I love the new storage option that we have now and love that it can grow with her.

Macy the 'ONE-derful''s First Birthday Party

First of all, you should know that I have been planning this since before Macy was born. Themes and colors changed several times, but there were some things that I knew I had to have. I wanted it to be big. I wanted lots of fun, personal details that made this party all Macy's own. And last, but certainly not least, I wanted to serve lots of good food. In the end, the vintage circus theme with bright red and turquoise colors won out against all others. 

We decided to have the party at a fabulous, local restaurant, Railway Cafe, in our city Athens, TX. Macy came to her first lunch at Railway when she was only two days old. Many times she is referred to as 'the Railway baby' and waitresses can often be seen carrying her around as they refill drinks. We literally love everything about Railway Cafe from the waitresses, to the atmosphere, to the food, to the owners. I guess the only things we could complain about is that they are only open for lunch and we can't eat there for all three meals in a day. 

Macy was so excited when her friends started coming in. She really loved getting to see all of her buddies.

Guests were asked to write a special note to Macy on red and turquoise tickets.

Since it was Macy's first birthday, we didn't plan much entertainment, but we did plan lunch! We decided to serve all of Macy's favorite things, but it seems a few of Mommy and Daddy's favorite things snuck in there too... 

The menu included: Sweet potato fries, petite grilled cheese sandwiches, yeast rolls, puffs, animal crackers, goldfish, BLT sandwiches with chips, pimento cheese sandwiches with chips, flatbread pizzas, heirloom tomato salad with goat cheese and balsamic dressing, and edamame.

But we can't forget all the sweets! We also had homemade banana nut bread, a fruit tray (to make us feel better about everything else we were eating), homemade pear and peach fruit sauces made and sold by local farmers at the Athens' Farmers Market, and family-tradition sugar cookies made using Macy's great-grandmother, Granana's recipe. 

We used popcorn buckets filled with animal crackers and anchoring balloons, as centerpieces. The kids also enjoyed eating all the red and blue candies out of the Mason jars that held the food markers. 

Oh, the wonderful high chair. The only one Macy has actually wanted to sit it. Maybe I should create decorations for her high chair at home?

Tutu That* made Macy's over-the-top birthday outfit. Everything that company makes is fabulous and Macy's outfit was no exception.

This detail was the crowning jewel for me. Railway Cafe is already a very picturesque setting with the exposed ceilings and brick walls, but I wanted a very eye-catching element right in the middle. I asked for a chandelier of some sorts, with lots of color and pop, and they delivered!

Macy Water! Macy loved these little bottles, and she carried one around with her most of the party.

Adorable and very yummy red velvet cake balls, with a tutu cake stand? How could a girl refuse?

After a little help from Mommy, Macy was able to dig in to her cake ball. 

Macy seemed more interested in feeding Mommy pieces of cake ball, but I couldn't refuse. They were delicious! Then somehow whipped cream got involved... 

There's a good Daddy who stares lovingly at such a mess!

A little washing up before returning to the party.

Guests took home bubbles, with a precious tag that said, "Thank you for making me feel ONE-derful on my special day!"

After all was said and done, we hole-punched all the tickets and birthday cards and put them on a ring with the oh-so fabulous invitation.

This is one of my favorites, written by my 13-year old brother, Noah.

Sadly, these were the only things left. NOT! We made it home with so many fabulous treats and eats to last us until dinner, which was also catered by Railway Cafe but served in our home 

(see Macy's Birthday Phase Two).

Overall, it was exactly what I had always hoped for our little daughter. The party was so fun and beautiful, and we were surrounded by those we love as we celebrated a full year with our precious blessing.

 Credits:

Tutu That*: Birthday Girl's Outfit and Headpiece

Amylu Photography: Invitation and Photography

Railway Cafe: Party Planning Help, Chandelier Construction, Food and Service

BushelandPeckPaper: Water Bottle Labels

Mary Had a Little Party: Door Signs, Food Markers, Gift Bag Tags, Toothpicks

DKDeleKtables: Straws

Treehouse Cupcakes: Cake Balls